a glorious contradiction

For the first time in a good couple of months I am typing a post from my computer rather from my phone or iPad. Not that this means anything in particular, it is just a sign of life currently being 'on-the-go' rather than 'settled'. That is just fine though - I quite like it that way and get somewhat restless if it were any other way. This being said, I will now contradict myself in the same paragraph because before I sleep this evening I do plan to let things be, let things pass and do a short meditation. Perhaps I like to 'be' more than I let on. I will let things be and I will rush full speed ahead so things don't get much of a chance to settle. Isn't it fascinating that we know what we feel and we know what we do; we have studied that in great depth. Yet the two quite often sit in such opposite ends of the same picture that what we are ends up being all but a glorious contradiction. A complicated contradiction.

Part of my reason for posting this evening is to really make this Sunday evening one for relaxing, as much as can be. I am very aware as I look at my diary that my next day off is Saturday 7th Feb. It is currently Sunday 18th Jan... this is almost three weeks of madness where usually the weekend would be for being at home, but the coming weekends will be spent either away modelling or away on 'residential' weekend for my course. I could count this as a weekend off, but actually they are 12 hour days of constant learning. I am looking forward to time spent with some of the most important people I have in my life. That will be a rare gift to really make the most of, but it will also be bitter-sweet as I know once we return, that the course is on the home-straight. We are heading towards graduation and qualification and this is both wonderful and terrifying in equal measures. So this weekend away will mean a great deal.

Am I ready for the next three weeks of life very much in the fast lane? I really hope I am. I need to be because the world will most certainly continue turning round even if I pretend it isn't. I suppose I am posting now also because I know that when my schedule gets very hectic I either post an overwhelmingly large amount of posts because I spend time travelling and that means time to write, or I am simply too engaged with life to find space to write. Both those are more preferable reasons than the alternative, to not write because it does not feel that there is anything new to say.

I am reminded of a book a read whilst in Barcelona over summer, and some words in it...

'One must not allow the clock or the calender to blind him to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and a mystery'
Robert Sharma (The Monk who Sold his Ferrari)