tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2391526742176491384.post1682295990186557518..comments2023-06-16T16:37:22.893+01:00Comments on Life as we know it: Mothers dayTanya Beethamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04983756102227226775noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2391526742176491384.post-87331620311511125362011-04-03T21:04:33.542+01:002011-04-03T21:04:33.542+01:00It always hits mums hard when their daughters have...It always hits mums hard when their daughters have gone through so much, especially when they are now as successful as they are! Because through the tough time the feel like the 'rubbish/trash' because they aren't enough to help, and then when you get through and become how you are today they no longer need to worry. That worry was probably taking over the trashy feelings and now that's all they are left with. So maybe you are both transferring feelings across one another without realizing, you both love each other dearly, maybe you just need time to adjust. But Tan, be proud of who you are no matter what, you've achieved AHELLUVA lot! xSamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12434210827750292500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2391526742176491384.post-26864854667283241782011-04-03T20:57:16.770+01:002011-04-03T20:57:16.770+01:00I don't know you well enough to really comment...I don't know you well enough to really comment, or your mum for that.<br />What I can offer are a few thoughts...<br />Maybe the fact you ARE achieving, after a long period of illness, is hard for her.<br />You work, and are very successful, you study, and are clearly successful, and you are doing your best to fight your demons.<br />I don't know how it was when you were in treatment/IP, and I don't know if your mum was a big support.<br />I am still at home, and as I am an independent woman, with my own life, as you have, there can be tension.<br />The worst time was when I was recovering.<br />I think my mum felt like the rubbish/trash.<br />No longer needed, or needing for me to be dependent on.<br />I feel safe at home. It has allowed me to recover in ways I NEVER could alone.<br />So maybe all these factors are impacting relations with your mum.<br />That fight for independence between mother/daughter is a long and fraught one.<br />There is also the possibility that your mum is jealous of your work - I am thinking the success in modelling.<br />That may not even be conscious.<br />You are beautiful and amazing, and although your mum may love all of you, there could be that jealousy. I have seen it many times over.<br />With regards to good enough...<br />I learnt a long time ago, that I AM good enough, and if others cannot see that, then, they don't.<br />I have to reassure myself I am.<br />And this was my point on my latest blog post.<br />I feel, liberated.<br />I feel, finally, I am good enough.<br />I am a fair bit older than you, and have been in recovery longer, and maybe, all of this, is part of your journey.<br />My only suggestion with your mum is communication.<br />I know so many who struggle with their mothers - most who are or remain eating disordered.<br />There is something in that, far deeper than I could articulate here.<br />Just know I am here, Tanya and that I adore you xxxxSia Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08120049607697882002noreply@blogger.com