A rare opportunity

This is myself and Bryony last night - the evening I ventured home to see the family because sometimes family is needed. It is very rare that I visit Harrogate and see all three of my siblings and my mum. In fact, my visits to Harrogate are fairly rare anyway, which is ironic considering I live a very feasible forty-five minute drive/train ride away.

 

But last night was nothing short of bliss. We had my mum's goats cheese salad, sat in the garden, and soaked in the evening sun. I am really grateful that life at the moment has given me the time to do this. My visits to see family are rare and the time available just to relax is rare... But when these two things happen, the rare opportunity is not to be neglected.

655 (2)

655 (part 2)
A selection of pictures...

655

655 miles on a train.

Last week was a week of travel. 655 miles to be exact. Not exotic out of the country high-flying travel, but travel within England. I had aimed to almost blog my way through the week as a means to document my journey/journeys. But as concluded in a chat between myself and a good friend last night, sometimes the gaps in our writing whether that be journalling or blogging or text messages and emails... Sometimes these gaps or silences do not represent nothingness, but they express life and living. If we were to look back at the times we did not write, we (I) would fill in the majority of blank spaces with goodness and stories of living. I write 'I' in brackets because this is not a generalized statement - I know that for some, the blank pages epitomize exactly that; the dark rooms and empty corridors. In other words, such loneliness. Whereas for me, the blanks at least for now equate to life being simply lived. This can only ever be a positive thing in my books. It might be lonely at times, but what kind of life isn't lonely at certain points? Particularly whilst travelling and away from home? In fact, I became so much in need of my own family that I took myself to see them all this evening and it was the best form of medicine I could hope for.

Following the Birmingham and London work, I arrived at the house of Anna in Loughborough where we spent a few days together and did the things only we know how to do best. We ate sushi and drank cocktails and wine along with many caffeinated beverages. We attended art gallery exhibitions led by a psychology lecturer, we experienced NLP therapy, and we had the best kinds of conversations in the sun regarding life, the soul, and love, mainly whilst drinking wine in the evening. Friends like this are for keeps.

I could have stayed with Anna for longer, but I headed home for a very short evening and then to Sheffield for a job. Life is just very busy... I had feared so much for my own sanity if anything - worrying that once University had finished I might be left with precisely the black nothingness that I describe above. But in fact, I am left with an adjustment period which one can only resist the urge to fight against. Being with Anna was a small reminder that sometimes, the most powerful and helpful thing to do is to 'let it be'. Of course, let it be with our feet very well grounded in reality, but let it be nonetheless. Amongst the good old need to cling onto the familiar and hide from the unnatural and new aspects of life which we can't help but associate with that wonderful concept we know as 'change', there is so much more life to be discovered. So much more than even a week and 655 miles can ever hope to bring.

A lot of 'life' is happening... And I have two new very exciting projects about to begin.

Here's to the month of June - it's already shaping out to be a wonderful June.

London to Loughborough

Following a brief couple of days working in London I am now writing this post on my trusty iPhone as I'm on the train somewhere in between St. Pancras station and  Loughborough. It is nothing other than purely gloriously sunny and warm outside. I know because I was sat out for a couple of hours before I took the train and I am almost certain I'm a little shade pinker and I have a acquired a good few more freckles on my knees, elbows and cheeks.

London has been great. Hair shows mean I return with shiny new red hair and somewhat sore feet, but we had a great evening. The evening consisted of shows, wine, wine, more wine, mojitos, amazing dinner, George Lamb and Alexa Chung, soho bars, and a few hours sleep once the sun rose this morning. Not to mention really great company.

Next stop: Loughborough. I have never been to this town... And this can only mean one thing - I'm visiting Anna. In approximately forty five minutes we will be reunited. I am also blessed with a fairly quiet train ride. It severely lacks any mobile phone or Internet connection but at least I have leg room and no unwelcome travel companions. 

From Birmingham

I type this sat in my hotel room in Birmingham following an afternoon of hair prep and dinner. Dinner was a 'mystery' vegetarian meal which happened to be not my cup of tea whatsoever. Unfortunately this meant I was left with shiny new red hair, great company, good wine, but still rather peckish.

So I sit here with my Nakd wholefoods bar, juice, tea, tissues, and 'cold and flu' tablets. It seems that months and months of hard work are finally catching up with me. I can disconnect my mind from this feeling with great ease. This is done by distractions and keeping busy and focused on the next thing, on bettering myself, on the new and exciting adventures. Keeping that 'no rest for the wicked' momentum in full swing. My brain is an expert on fighting these things! But there is only so much my body can do to fight it off. I fear I am crashing... Not ideal when I have a week of suitcase living and travel ahead.

I wonder if I will have had a miraculous recovery when I wake in the morning... Does my positive thinking stretch that far?

June 1st: 'time off?'

June 1st, Saturday. It has been two days of glorious sunshine. Yes, pure English sunshine. This sunshine is certainly wonderfully timed because these are the first days off I've had since Christmas and there isn't a rain drop in sight. As ever, I am a person of the sun. The sun makes me feel at home, at peace, and at one. However, I have realized that the concept of 'time off' is somewhat alien to me, therefore I have to admit to not embracing this break quite as much as I anticipated. In fact, I have spend a considerable amount of time worrying ridiculously about things that even with the best will in the world, I cannot change. This was, until my Mother kindly reminded me that worrying about what's already done does not change a single thing. I have to remember three core things: patience, trust, and acceptance. She made an executive decision when she decided that self-prescribed shopping would be a more productive use of my energy but I'm not entirely sure this worked for me. It did however work for her.

'Time off', even if just for a couple of days, has been spent with the people I care about. Time has been spent with the sun, with my emails, with my books, with next weeks itinerary of multiple travel plans, work plans, travelling, and with writing plans for the following weeks. I have also just completed proof-reading my Mother's latest endevour - she has written a rather interesting case study which I enjoyed reading and having my eyes widened a little more.

Determination is a gentle understatement. Determination and patience? This, I anticipate, will be a fine, fine art.

sunrise

Last week, in fact it was over a week ago - it was our summer ball/end of year event at University. Having already done the 'ending' and with it being significantly cold temperatures, it didn't really feel like like a typical  'ending' or a 'summer ball' - but it did feel like an incredible night with some equally incredible friends. We spent the first few hours enjoying wine and being at Uni spending time with everybody. I even located Steff, who turned 22 that weekend and was also celebrating her birthday. But the majority of the evening was spent with some of the most marvelous people I know, those being the two beautiful ladies I shall hopefully be embarking on the next two years of my post graduate study with. Matt came through from Harrogate to join me, Ruth, Penn, and Penn's husband Mick. There are not many people I can happily and quite easily spend hours upon hours drinking wine with, in a state of being what can only be described as hazily, drunkenly aware, content, and together. I am still unsure as to how I survived my second 24 hours straight of working, drinking, and being alive. But I did, and we concluded the evening at the Minster watching the sun rise.

The real moment - we were in the taxi driving back home in the morning and Ruth and I looked out of the back window of the taxi to see the morning sun rise above the city buildings and the Minster. It was so warm and bright and beautiful. We looked at each other, took a breath, and took the view in.