It is Saturday morning and I am enjoying a good weekend off. I have good coffee, a beautiful book, some fresh melon in the kitchen, and not an appointment or meeting or job in sight for the entire weekend. It is a good feeling. I can honestly say that I have learnt the art of embracing time in the palm of my hands. Of course I have a few work 'things' that need to be done, but taking weekends like this are part of my taking time to 'refuel' my soul. For me, in its most simplistic form, fill it with good things and the more we are able to do good.
Life as I always write, is a balancing act, but nothing becomes perfect without trial and error. In fact, we probably will never perfect it for as long as we try, but the point is, that we will not get it right first, second, third time around. We make mistakes and we learn and then we are wiser and more informed to make different choices next time the universe throws a hurdle in our path. We live and learn always. My balance this week has been about knowing I do not always have to be a positive-Buddha-Gandhi-zenlike-graceful-mindful-goddess figure of wonder and calm. It is always good to be aware and accepting and trusting that the universe shall conspire. But I have engaged in a few conversations this week that always make me feel a little uneasy. And the interesting thing is, is that I have happily initiated these conversations and even acknowledged that my ranting is considered and that it is justified. It is uneasy because I wonder what good can come from my rants or complaints? Why can't I apply my acceptance and invest a little positive energy into even the things that wind my insides up and that I carry with me despite my knowing that this bundle of negativity does me no good?
My answer is that we are human beings. I am a woman and I am a human being, and with that comes power and a voice. I am not a mat on the floor, I am not a painting on the wall, and I am not a person who quietens my voice simply because it might not be a voice that is agreeable with the rest. In fact, I have found that if one voice speaks, chances are that there are others that will join. Some advice I was given yesterday was to keep on ranting. 'Rants' for me come from a place in myself that is well-considered. A place of integrity and assertion. If that means that I don't sit as a pretty wallflower and watch the world pass me by as I accept and trust that things will change then that is fine by me. I think this might otherwise be known as 'knowing what I can change, accepting what I cannot, and applying the wisdom that I know the difference!'