Thursday, 25 September 2014

intuition and intent - a late September post

A kind-hearted gift to myself this week is the gift of time this morning. I have given myself a morning of being at home and it has been simply wonderful. It is almost the end of September already and the month has taken me by surprise. I have transformed from a temporary snazzy pants-wearing, soul searching, sunset seeking human being to one who is trying to balance that way of being with a more, dare I say it, 'sensible' approach to life.

I doubt my approach shall ever be dull, but I do think a degree of sensibility is required when life requires me to navigate my way through the different professional hats and roles whilst constantly learning and developing new ways of doing the jobs I actually quite enjoy. I have lots of new students, new clients, new mentees, talks and conference/research 'stuff', etc.. each looking to me for something unique. And I think that life this month is a test of my ability to hold both my snazzy pants and my love for my work in the same hand. It is about the balance of spontaneity and sensibility. Of instinctive, intuitive living and intentional decisions. It is interesting how these things come together and how they actually work in a very complementary way together, but working with other human beings means that I am also witness to how the extremes of living can be so damaging.

So here I am, mid-week, learning from the human beings around me, and making the choice to allow myself the morning off. And to make good coffee...

On another note, it is getting colder and I am missing the warmth. I think I shall have to wear a coat this afternoon...

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

What is a 'sin' anyway?

My sunset chasing this week has taken me on some inadvisable adventures - but adventures that I shall not erase nonetheless. I have learnt to always trust my instinct - that is with the exception of the inevitability of the lack of trust I can place in my 'internal GPS'. In this case, I have learnt to always trust Google Maps... And at the very least, I must remember where the car was parked! Under no circumstances must I lead my good friends blindly into the dark...

It is now September (unbelievably) and summer is indeed over. Work is picking up - I am meeting new students and clients, attending training, thinking about conferences, thinking about the coming academic year, and thinking even more about the emails I haven't yet replied to and wondering why some get a response from me within five minutes yet others are sat there in my inbox, static for days on end. There is something strange yet liberating about working around the academic year - and that is that this time of year for me feels more of a 'new year' than January ever does. 

I just caught sight of an article entitled 'how to erase the sins of a well-lived summer'. And my first response was 'goodness - why on earth would one ever consider erasing all that is good in their heart?' My assumption here is that 'well-lived' implies something positive, but my initial response has not changed much. I can certainly say that I have had a well-lived summer, and in the very nature of something being lived, there has been no 'sin' in sight. A sin being something of immoral intent in which we feel eaten alive by remorse and guilt, si? Or simply an act that another human being frowns upon from behind the fenced off boundaries of their own lives? Either way, I am not sure that anything we have fully lived can ever be erased; not really - not that I believe in a true 'sin' anyway. Not even if a little guilt emerges. Not even if we have acquired a small scar or wrinkle. Not if we have loved and let go. Not if we have made decisions and life is in the process of change. Have we not realised by now that life is ALWAYS in the process of change? And we are always changing with it; changing and emerging and learning more. If we erase where we have been, how will we ever understand the meaning of where we are? All that has been well-lived is good - and all that has been good over these past few months is securely anchored in my being. It will move forward with me. I shall not erase.. I shall probably also continue to seek the sunsets, to get lost, and to discover the new.