Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Early mornings and high spirits

Another assignment done, proof read, and ready to submit. It is currently 1:40am and I will be woken at 7am by my alarm, which shall subsequently be followed with a cup of coffee and a rush to leave the house. However, today, all in all, has been a good day. I learnt that I am not the only one who relies on the wonders of a sat nav or a trusted human being for directions when navigating the roads of this country. And I also learnt that a siesta is always appropriate. I took a great nap in the car this evening and despite a long day shooting and long car journeys, I am still awake. Still awake knowing that I shall certainly not be feeling this high-spirited in the morning. Never say never.... 

I have been enjoying the flexibility to take more modelling jobs lately - balance is feeling more in tune with my soul. 

Monday, 28 April 2014


I write as I am currently inn Peterborough on a job and have some time whilst other things get done to post about my birthday celebrations. I have a soya latte, full hair and make up, and I am waiting for the other models to have their pictures taken before I go. My birthday - My mum treated  me to a spa day, then Japanese home cooked dinner, the most beautiful lemon and pistachio birthday cake, and to bring the day to an end, I had an evening drinking wine with good friends. I truly had a wonderful birthday. My birthdays seem to only get better as I get older.

Saturday, 26 April 2014

siestas and philosophy

Yesterday I did a little research, took a siesta, taught in the evening, and purchased a new shirt. Today I drank morning coffee in bed, saw my clients, purchased an iPad (happy birthday to me), and drank wine whilst discussing philosophy and psychotherapy with a wonderful human being.

Am I becoming temporarily and selectively reckless and free? Or simply living my life in the way it was meant to be lived right now?

Thursday, 24 April 2014

160 miles

A very brief post, since it is not the most agreeable time of day/night. There is my entire 'to do list' which has evolved from the weekend and has not even been considered today. For some reason, to-do list is still neatly hidden away and I have turned to my blog. I'm going with it...

It has been a long day; approx. 160 miles, a healthy amount of ridiculously overpriced but beautifully crafted soya cappuccinos, the beautiful sounds of Paolo Nutini, and not a single piece of assignment work or research in sight. Although admittedly, it has not quite been 'out of sight out of mind'. I have been on a shoot this morning. The joy that fills the body when reading a call sheet that states '9am-1pm' is incomparable. Not the 9am, but the lunchtime finish. It was one of those jobs where you know the team you're working with so it isn't weird and awkward with everybody asking how old you are and how you became a model. I then drove back home, popped into a salon in prep for a shoot next week, and then went to a meeting this evening at my placement. Such is the multifaceted nature of this life... Some of this I could not even predict week to week.

I arrived back home at approximately 10pm to a malteaster chocolate bunny as a small gift from my sister, and the War Horse tickets I recently purchased. Definitely wonderful things to return home to!

Saturday, 19 April 2014

North to West to East to South.....

I have been on some journeys this week. Multiple journeys to be exact. Too many miles to calculate, but it has been spectacular. The purchasing of my new car happened at just the right time - I am not sure my old corsa would have survived the hundreds of miles I've been travelling this week! I am so very fortunate that I am able to take just a few days break. Work life can be ridiculously hectic most of the time and I find that new air and scenery does something to me - new perspective, balance restored, etc...

Also the South East is a little sun trap. A haven of peacefulness and warmth. There is something quite special about being able to say 'let's just go with it today', and deciding to sit and watch the sun set over the sea simply because you can. I shall definitely return sometime soon, next time I have a good few days off and a mountain of work to tackle. There is nothing like slowing down the pace of life and taking time to write with clarity. I have returned home and straight back to work, but it is good to know that I can take myself away for a few days and the universe will still turn. I have returned home with a clear mind and an aim to 'go with life' a little more. Life doesn't have to be so draining - it is only as draining as we make it.

Monday, 14 April 2014

Goodnight from Cheltenham

We have reached mid-April and once more I have managed to post once in the space of two weeks. I thought now is as good a time as any to update, and it is also a time to celebrate the forthcoming FOUR days off work. I have been so very strict with myself in not booking in any work until Friday so that I can have some days off. Days 'off' will still mean that I am working and on emails, but just very selectively, and absolutely nothing that requires me to physically be in York. I get to have a mini adventure around the South of England, starting today (well, tomorrow) in the Cotswolds, and then heading across to Kent. I'm rediscovering my adventurous spirit. It tends to get a little stifled when so consumed with research and academic-type-issues. It is about the balance. Balance is being restored and my faith in the power of new ground, new air, and a fresh perspective shall be proven once more.

Today I have been working for the Loreal Colour Trophy in Cheltenham (explains my being here), and it has been a good day. It has been more than a good day actually - the sun has been shining, it has been so beautiful, and I have been with a wonderful team of people all day.

It was also my brother's 22nd birthday this week. Twenty-two. He is getting older, and as his big sister it makes me feel even older too! Not that age bothers me, it is more that time is moving too quickly. Here are some picture of the week - it seems to make more sense to tell the stories through the pictures...

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Making sense of the nonsense

It has been almost two weeks since I last blogged, and each time I think about writing I am distracted and my energy is directed elsewhere. Usually to my work... What a life is that? Well, it is not too bad - I do enjoy my work. But once more I find myself in a place where balance feels a million miles away. I miss the space to think about thinking and to learn about learning and to contemplate contemplating. I miss the freedom, hence my decision to juggle around some work 'stuff' to accommodate the work that is more fulfilling. It is always a risk to initiate change, but nothing ever changes without a little decisiveness. And decisions aren't ever made without a little risk.

I have spent the past couple of weeks working a lot on my tutoring and my research, and  I also made a good/spontaneous decision to buy a wonderful new car - what a difference it makes to drive a new car after driving a 15 year old 'banger!' My old car breaking down has certainly acted as a great reminder of how important my independence is to me. The knowledge that I can independently get myself from A to B (often then to C to D...!) without having to rely on another person is surprisingly one of the most important things to me.

This morning (a Sunday morning...) has been spent preparing teaching material on the biological and psychological approaches to psychopathology; all far too deterministic for my sense of the world. Even the 'assumptions' which claim to be non-deterministic clearly are to some degree. Which of course, that is what we have science for - but isn't that the danger of any theoretical assumption, regardless of how individualistic and accommodating it wishes to be, it will always see a collective group for its similarities and it will prioritise the similarities over anything else when perhaps it might be nice to focus on the overlooked and under-appreciated 'everything else'... The rational part of us as human beings likes science and progress. And in order to balance that out, we have the beauty of our free and fluid part that is sometimes so very difficult to tame. It can be so loosely tied to the ground that it needs a little reassurance that the world isn't just meaningless and chaotic - that we can make sense of even the most abstract of concepts. That we can make sense of the nonsense.

Following a morning of making sense of the nonsense, I progressed to more making sense of a whole spiders web of information. I spent the afternoon sat in a coffee shop with my sister and my domestic violence research whilst scouring the internet for up to date and relevant literature about what is called CPV (child to parent violence) - heavy, but really quite an interesting subject, I am now wondering 'what next?' Perhaps what's next is simply nothing. I quite like that thought... I cannot stop listening to Paolo Nutini this evening, and it has put my mind in a fairly happy state and I really am pleased that I have given myself the very small gift of a little time to write - to write about writing. I am always torn between the concept of time as an illusion, and time as something so precious that it is always prioritised above all else. It determines so very much of our lives. I wonder if we didn't think about it as anything - if we just let it be, would it just be? Is that too care-free for a life that needs a little structure too?