Saturday, 26 May 2012

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

First day of summer

It was so beautifully warm outside today and it was my first day of summer 'freedom'.
So naturally I spent the afternoon with the lovely Ella sat on the grass by the river with our iced coffees chatting about crazy things, as we do oh, so very eloquently well :)
I also purchased a necklace and new Mark Jacobs 'Daisy' perfume as a little gift to myself for finishing second year of university.
I'm happy, the sun has been shining? It's been a lovely day off, and I am back shooting tomorrow :)

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Happy birthday Bryony

It was indeed the most beautiful little girl I know's birthday today. She turned 14. I'm lucky to have the sweetest little being as my sister.

University, writing, and summer.

That is the word which best sums up how I feel. I have reached the milestone of completing my final assignments for second year and I cannot describe the relief I feel. It's more than just a weight being removed from my shoulders, it's an entire pressure from my head that has been lifted. I can breathe again.I can spend more time at castings and shooting and not feeling constantly tied between the two commitments of my life.

I welcome summer with a huge embrace, but I shall continue dipping into my learning of course. Summer is wonderful, but it is a lengthy amount of time  and as much as I am sure I shall fill it and it will be over before it has even begun, I shall still read and write and learn. I have just completed a rather reflective but critical piece of writing, consisting of five short essays of psychoanalytical content. But as I posted before, each essay was written in some way, in context of relating to the self and my own interpersonal and intrapersonal experiences. The functions of the mind, relational ethics and values, the relationship with the self, and the ways in which relationships are formed with others. In essence, a few psychoanalytical interpretations of the ways in which the past ultimately and inevitably informs the present.

This piece included two different aspects of Attachment Theory: The development of the internal working model, incorporating childhood illusions, the meaning of childhood bliss, and thoughts surrounding the question 'Why is unconditional love not enough?'. Why do we sometimes reject love? Why do we innately search for nurturance and balance despite knowing the place we search for it fails time after time to provide us with what the inner child desires?

I then wrote about the ways in which the mother's relational style and her attachment history ultimately affects that of the child.I then discussed Bowlby's interpretations of Attachment and Loss, making links between this and my piece on the ego defence mechanism of 'Displacement', in terms of the child's relationship with the Father, functions of the mind, and the repetition compulsion. And finally I wrote a more recently contextual piece on therapeutic transference.

Apologies if that was all psychobabble to those who may not be interested.
But it really has been an interesting process for me, so I wanted to share a little of it on here.
It is my sister's birthday today, so the rest of my day shall be spent returning library books and taking the train back home to celebrate her birthday with my family.
Happy Sunday to all x

Youth & freckles in the sun

Oh, to be young and free spirited once more.

Saturday, 19 May 2012

about a mother.

'It doesn't matter whether she hurts or hugs. Separation from the mother is worse than being in her arms when the bombs are exploding. Separation from the mother is sometimes worse than being with her when she is the bomb.'
- Judith Viorst, (The high cost of separation)
in 'Necessary Losses', 1986.

Once again, I write while I should be working.
But this is actually quite topical. I am so close to the end yet so far. The end of second year is in sight. I have to finish my last piece and tidy it all up, then I shall be finished. I have almost reached completion of my five short essays on relating psychoanalytical theory to the self. It's more time-consuming than it sounds. Each short piece it to be joined together to form a 2,500 word essay but it's more like writing five separate essays, really condensing them, and finishing with one piece of writing with five sub-headings, all relating in some way.
It's taking me a while, but I don't mind, it is more interesting for me than analysing the statistics of social psychology research.

Friday, 18 May 2012

With souls that made our souls wiser

'We mark with light in the memory the few interviews we have had, in the dreary years of routine and of sin, with souls that made our souls wiser; that spoke what we thought; that told us what we knew; that gave us leave to be what we inly were.'
- Ralph Emerson,
Divinity School Address, 1838

Monday, 14 May 2012

Distraction at its finest

Welcome to my second post within the space of just a few mere hours spent here in the library. I am procrastinating, distracting, welcoming interruptions to the academic flow of my mind.
Okay, my mind really is feeling anything but academic today.

I quite enjoy the library. The rows of books and inspiration that it offers, but today it is just full of students and it's rather loud. Just clouding up my head,

I went on a quest to locate some books.. And near the books I needed were the philosophy books, which never fail to keep me distracted.

Anyone for cake?

Check out our baking skills.
It's our housemate's birthday today, so naturally, Anna, I, and Ciara collaboratively baked him a cake. Feeling rather proud :)
(it's coffee & walnut by the way)

Sunday, 13 May 2012

The city at night

Today has been wonderful. The ever so beautiful Zana journeyed over for an afternoon of chilling, tea/coffee drinking in the sun, and relaxing while making (and getting rather excited about) possible travel plans. Spending time with this wonderful girl has filled me with hope. This is our time.

So after a nice day, it was no surprise that our house this evening was not providing enough entertainment so Anna and I decided to take ourselves out to the city on a leisurely midnight stroll accompanied with flasks of hot tea. Yes, flasks of tea. We are young (and admittedly somewhat crazy you might say) but this walk was genius. So refreshing and calming. It's a different city at night time. The world looks different. Here are some snapshots..

Saturday, 12 May 2012


I am not particularly religious. But I feel blessed today, whatever meaning 'blessed' can possibly hold to a non-religious person. I suppose when I feel this beautiful way, I tend to feel incredibly appreciative of all manner of things; friends, memories, strangers, life.. The sun..
It's almost a mindfully peaceful way of being which of course presents itself and comes and goes in waves of imagination, but nevertheless, is a lovely feeling. Today was the deadline for two of my big university assignments. Luckily I am a little anal about deadlines and was absolutely ahead of the game. I submitted my work yesterday and the day before. Not only has a huge weight been lifted from my entire body, but after spending a week turning all castings down, I was finally able to go to castings at the agency this morning. It was only a morning trip, and i was able to spend the afternoon drinking coffee and catching up with my best friend from school. This was amazing. We hadn't seen eachother for a ridiculously long period of time, but with Kristie and I, we shall never really be apart, not really. We have a kind of precious friendship that you don't often find. It's important to keep firm hold of those friends.
I then went to the theatre with my housemate, as a way of relaxing and celebrating the survival of a somewhat stress-inducing week. And returned home to such a heart warming gift and letter from Aisling, a beautiful, beautiful girl from Ireland with a heart made entirely from gold. Thank you Aisling.
Thank you Kristie
Thank you all
And thank you world x

'a hat person'

It is a well known fact amongst those who see me often that I like to wear hats a lot. I accidentally stumbled across this one today and felt compelled to make a purchase :)

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Good morning

It undoubtedly is an incredibly beautiful morning. Well, in actual fact the morning has passed now. But it was lovely. The sunshine is lovely. I have been in the University library for a couple of hours and no work has been done. Absolutely no work whatsoever. I've just been becoming somewhat frustrated because I absolutely dislike turning down castings and shoots because I have university commitments too.
The more I allow my mind to contemplate, the more I find myself considering a year or two out of study. This is a little stressful, but what gives me the earthly right to complain when essentially I bring it all on myself?
I don't know. This stems from so many other confounded avenues in my mind too.

Anyway. Here are a couple of snaps of what my morning looked like. I do seem to rather enjoy floating peacefully in my own world even when surrounded with pressure.