Sunday, 21 December 2014

Falling for the festivities

It is now fairly late at night (is 1.30am early or late these days...? Or just plain mad?).. I realise that another week has passed and I have not posted as much as I would have liked. Nor have I done the work I was hoping to do, and I am even shocked at realising that I am really quite behind on my emails. I have emails I promised to send on Monday that still haven't been sent... It might be wise to make a note to self to send these soon....

I have, however, completed (and enjoyed completing) my Christmas shopping. Our tree is gradually gathering a lovely showering of gifts underneath it and my family are slowly joining together. This being said, one of my sisters is currently in Ireland, and I have just packed some luggage for a trip to Kent for a few days. This will inevitable happen though; our lives will continue to be madness in their very nature. Our lives will weave in and out of the each others and our paths will cross in various ways, but as my last post said, at the still point, there the dance is. Christmas feels like a day in which we will be still. We will be the still point and perhaps we will find the dance.

I read a therapy article yesterday reminding us to be mindful of the meaning of Christmas when saying goodbye to clients - in that it holds very different meanings for each of us, so to recognise that for some it is a time of love and hope yet for others it is a time that serves as an inescapable reminder of everything that might be missing. A message not of togetherness, but of aloneness in the world. It is interesting that with my clients I have only wished them a happy Christmas if it has been in response to them wishing me a good holiday. Yet with my students - my Tutoring students and my mentoring students, it has been a huge point of celebration and conversation. I have been given lovely gifts and chocolates during sessions and I have even been instructed to wear my Christmas jumper or Christmas hat to sessions. It has been really interesting to notice how my sensitivity shifts and how the boundaries are reconstructed depending on which role I am in - which 'hat' I am wearing..

As I type this I am also looking at the various tabs I have open and I am texting a couple of very good friends - one about new year plans, and one about booking flights to Spain for a somewhat spontaneous, but bloody wonderful short adventure away to re-fuel the spirit of our soul. We are both working very much at the moment, but both have a soul that does not like to feel too rooted at one time in one place. So, naturally, of course we plan the next trip, and we decide that this will be for us.

I believe I am falling for the festivities this year. I have found a little meaning in it. It isn't about the shopping or the tree or the gifts. It isn't even about the meals or the wine or the travelling 'home'. This year it is about something a client this week so beautifully reminded me of. It is about giving yourself. I can offer anything that commercially we are encouraged to indulge in, because money = love! right...? This is the trap. This is the trap, when really, we are all searching for that one thing. The one thing that 'Love Actually' reminds us of each time we watch that scene at the beginning of the movie that is set in Heathrow's arrivals area. And I have to admit, each time I fly, I am always alone. I always travel alone, which means that I arrive (and return) and nobody is there to welcome me. I think that is why last summer was so beautiful in Barcelona, because although I travelled alone, I was greeted in the city with nothing more than my best friend and a hug. But back to the point - when I am waiting, which has usually been at train platform stations or airport departures/arrivals, I am a (hopefully covert) people watcher; I look around me, and if people are connected through their hellos or their goodbyes, it is often very powerful just to watch. And that for me, is what the festive spirit is about this year - the love.

I am embracing the season and also looking forward to re-fuelling my soul over the next few days in the south.

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