Sunday, 17 May 2015

A few weeks and a little perspective

This is what I didn't want to let happen to this blog; it has been around three weeks and I have not even opened up my Blogger homepage, never mind thought about posting. I love writing this blog, but life is happening so quickly these days that I can barely keep up with my own diary and my to-do list and my work. Since the last time I wrote, it has been my birthday and I turned 26. I had a 5-day celebration, which was simply wonderful. I felt content, despite the impending work deadlines and those 'all-important' pressing things 'to do'. It turns out that life can still be pretty wonderful if you let those pressures ease a little. It also turns out that having good friends around to help you do that is helpful. Once those celebrations were over I then went to Barcelona and re-discovered a little piece of my soul there; the part of my soul that wears clashing patterns and knows it is OK not to set an alarm. it knows it is OK to turn up 5 minutes late and to wait until the next day before responding to an email. The trip was beyond wonderful (and hilariously entertaining) in many ways, from the tuneful fellow passengers on the flight, to the squad of Barcelona Bombers being called out to rescue us from a broken lift, to Chinese food and cheap Spanish wine (purchased illegally 'after selling hours') in the early hours of the morning on the apartment balcony. It was days of total lack of organisation but glorious sunshine and fun.

A different perspective can change everything, and I don't write that light-heartedly; a little perspective really does change a hell of a lot. I think without that trip I would not have gotten through these past few weeks. My students have been working towards their exams, they have been stressed, my client work has been tough, I have had decisions to make, and I have had deadlines and subsequent work returned to me. One of which I received the best mark in my five years at uni. I am still in disbelief.. But that was the confidence boost I needed in order for me to put my next research application in. That has been a big decision for me, and a big test of my trust in the universe (and in other people - probably most important trust in myself too). A lot is shifting in the right direction. The next year or so finally looks like it exists, after a long time of it looking like an empty void in time and space. It makes leaving the course feel less final, and like more of a transition. Providing nothing goes tits up, my research project should be full steam ahead. Providing these final deadlines don't go tits up, I should be a qualified practitioner and graduating, and providing I find a house, I should be moving as soon as possible. My new perspective has also shown me that I am not superhuman and my body will not keep me alive unless I make efforts to keep it healthy and alive too. So I have decided to take a 'writing break' for a month before my very final deadline, for my work, but also for my body mind and spirit. Who knows how it will be? All I know is where I am staying and that I know I love the place. The rest will unfold, and I trust that it will be the space and time I need to focus. As a friend wrote this morning in an email, this feels more like a test of resilience rather than a test of competency or skill. Pure resilience.

Perspective. I will remind myself of this word when I immerse myself back into writing my transcript tomorrow afternoon. Presentation day is looming and I need to keep this perspective...

1 comment:

  1. I have realised the importance of perspective taking myself recently and it is so refreshing and exhilarating! So glad you had a wonderful time, you're making me excited to get away now! xxx