Thursday, 19 April 2012

sunrise and sketching

There is nothing quite like the early hours of the morning when half of the world is still asleep. A small hot coffee, train table all to myself, beautiful music of Bon Iver playing from my iPod, and the sun slowly rising in the sky while the train drives up/down/across the country. I'm painting quite a serene and idyllic picture in your mind, yes? That's because it's beautifully calming. Calming and peaceful. I think I'm quite a hippy at heart. Of course I inevitably stress and worry, like 99% of the population. I travel for my job and have to be at certain locations at certain times, and arrive as the 'perfect' person. Literally - 'perfect'. What does that mean? To meet all the expectations placed upon me knowing full well that I'm probably not reaching them. I'll always be falling short of something and it takes one hell of a lot of thick skin to look past that sometimes. I'm talking hypothetically 'as if' I have thick skin. I don't. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to reflect on my job in this way. I love it, I really do. But I'll always feel this way to some degree or another. I am what I am - I can try my best to change it. I could kill myself trying to change if I really wanted. But even then, I still would just be 'not quite right'.

Anyway, I am rolling away down a pathway here that I didn't intend to go down.
Back to the trains and travel. I've said it before: I like travelling and I enjoy being on (quiet less crowded) trains because it's a time of momentary transit. A time where the rest of the world really doesn't matter too much because they are out there and you are travelling through time. Time dedicated to just moving from one place to the next; neither here nor there. There's something in that feeling that takes away a lot of worry.
So I took my 'book' out, did some writing and sketching while I was watching the sun and just enjoying time. 

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