That is the word which best sums up how I feel. I have reached the milestone of completing my final assignments for second year and I cannot describe the relief I feel. It's more than just a weight being removed from my shoulders, it's an entire pressure from my head that has been lifted. I can breathe again.I can spend more time at castings and shooting and not feeling constantly tied between the two commitments of my life.
I welcome summer with a huge embrace, but I shall continue dipping into my learning of course. Summer is wonderful, but it is a lengthy amount of time and as much as I am sure I shall fill it and it will be over before it has even begun, I shall still read and write and learn. I have just completed a rather reflective but critical piece of writing, consisting of five short essays of psychoanalytical content. But as I posted before, each essay was written in some way, in context of relating to the self and my own interpersonal and intrapersonal experiences. The functions of the mind, relational ethics and values, the relationship with the self, and the ways in which relationships are formed with others. In essence, a few psychoanalytical interpretations of the ways in which the past ultimately and inevitably informs the present.
This piece included two different aspects of Attachment Theory: The development of the internal working model, incorporating childhood illusions, the meaning of childhood bliss, and thoughts surrounding the question 'Why is unconditional love not enough?'. Why do we sometimes reject love? Why do we innately search for nurturance and balance despite knowing the place we search for it fails time after time to provide us with what the inner child desires?
I then wrote about the ways in which the mother's relational style and her attachment history ultimately affects that of the child.I then discussed Bowlby's interpretations of Attachment and Loss, making links between this and my piece on the ego defence mechanism of 'Displacement', in terms of the child's relationship with the Father, functions of the mind, and the repetition compulsion. And finally I wrote a more recently contextual piece on therapeutic transference.
Apologies if that was all psychobabble to those who may not be interested.
But it really has been an interesting process for me, so I wanted to share a little of it on here.
It is my sister's birthday today, so the rest of my day shall be spent returning library books and taking the train back home to celebrate her birthday with my family.
Happy Sunday to all x