I watched the film, 500 Days of Summer last night. It was on TV and I've never actually seen this film fully from start to finish despite many opportunities to do so. I am not one for your usual love story where girl meets boy and falls in love. I like to see beauty, but in it's absolute authentic reality. But this one is different. It is beautiful. I'm not even sure if I believe in 'love' as such. I mean, of course I do. Of course I see love and beauty and feel compassion and adoration. But 'love' in the sense of two beings coming together as one because they are 'meant to be'? It just seems somewhat too naive and idealistic for such a thinker as I am.
Anyway - there are some wonderful words spoken in this film, about life and loneliness. But I particularly like these words..
'And then I'm running so fast that my feet aren't even touching the ground and I'm floating. And it's like this amazing, amazing realness. I'm free. I'm safe. Then I realize, I am completely alone. And then I wake up.'
- 500 Days of Summer.
It actually reminds me of something I said to a friend earlier; about a disconnection from life. So much so that it feels as though you are not even walking on the ground. No sense of time or gravity. No real space but you have all the possible space in the world. No real existence but a profoundly real intrinsic existence at the very same time.
Okay it's probably clear that my mind is rambling away and it will continue to do so and baffle anyone who may be reading this unless I stop myself.
I shall take this as my cue to get some reading done now for my assignments. Attachment theory and adult attachment types are on the agenda for now, followed closely by some social psychology, deindividuation, and depersonalisation.
Oh, and it is wonderfully sunny outside.