I only seem to post on this blog at extreme times. The extreme times being either exciting times when life is flying high at one hundred miles an hour, or the low times whereby I wish life would zoom on past and conveniently leave me behind somewhere I can comfortably hide and while each moment away.
I feel extreme. Which is a paradoxically strange notion for such a reserved being.
What about the forgotten middle ground? What happens to the times of the in-between? The times no one really cares to think much about these days? Are they so insignificant that we must cast them aside? I think not. Not a day goes by, and not a thought crosses my mind that is so undeserving of some form of recognition and validation. I shall try, from now on, to acknowledge that these days of the in-between are just as important as the next day of extremeties. I shall not cast aside and forget these days, because I fear that my life as I know it will disappear into the oblivious land of the forgotten. I don't want my life to be forgotten. I don't want to wake up one day unable to recall each step along my journey.
This week is an in-between week. I have had two days off, with not much exciting news to post in terms of work or castings or friends or family. I suppose this is the in-between. I'm unsure of how this feels (work is my mind's distraction) but it seems a shame to neglect this blog simply because I don't feel that i have produced a life that is worthy of stringing a few sentences together as I sit in cafe Nero with a coffee.
I am really enjoying London town in the sunshine. The scenery is good. And similarly I am enjoying staying with my grandparents in the sunshine too. The south east of England is well known for avoiding the gloomy grey-ness that the majority of England seems to account for. It can only bring joy :)
As much as I feel lonely at times, and as much as the unsettling lifestyle of living out of a suitcase makes me miss my home a great deal.. I am pretty content. Perhaps the solidarity is a little easier to manage as opposed to last summer in Japan because i haven't found a house yet for October when I return. Home is a city.. But not a house. It shall be a house when I locate a new one; which is also really exciting to be searching for.
Motivation has found me at last to begin some prep work for third year at university. I'm planning my dissertation, I have books and study materials ready, and I have a mind that is so excited for learning.
Motivation has found me, or perhaps I have found my motivation? Je ne sais pas.