A model friend of mine updated her Facebook status this morning, paraphrasing my exact thought process as I walked to the train station this morning. She wrote that if we collected miles from travelling on trains in a similar way one collects air miles, she would have accumulated a considerably large amount. I echo this sentiment entirely. I am sat on the train with the morning sun almost blinding me at the moment. I've enjoyed a hazelnut coffee and now I have 1.5 hours left of this journey before arriving in Birmingham for today's beauty shoot.
When a model turns up to a job and works with a new make up artist or stylist or member of the creative team, we are usually asked a series of pretty predictable questions; of which we have already answered many times before to various people so we don't think too much, we just answer.
These are questions such as
'How long have you been modelling for?'
'How did you get scouted?'
'Is that your natural hair colour?'
'Whats the best job you've done?'
'Do you model full time?'
'How old are you?'
After these questions are asked and answers are established, I suppose then you're eligible for an opinion to be formed of you based upon your experience and the richness of your life. I don't know whether some just ask these questions because they need to form an opinion so they know what to expect of you on the job, or whether they have genuine interest in you as a human being. I suspect there are people who come from both sides. I like to think that people are interested though. I ask such questions back because you're forming working relationships with such people and I think it's wonderful to know a little more otherwise the day is based upon superficial knowledge and conversation.
I was asked a few days ago how many shoots I've done.. And this was a somewhat difficult one to answer because I genuinely couldn't begin to know or recall everything. It really surprised me. Sometimes I still feel a little asif I'm just 'playing the role' as it were.. Like I'm still learning the ropes. I worry I may not be good enough or I may not meet expectations or I turn up to jobs and clients are disappointed because I'm too short or not the right size or my hair isn't the right colour or the clothes don't fit or I can't give them the right looks. I worry I go through the day not measuring up to their expectations. Perhaps this is irrational, or perhaps this is what most models feel at some point. It might make sense; when being sold as something 'perfect' but perfection really isn't a thing that exists without a lot of post-editing and photoshopping, it's not a great surprise that these worries exist.
You would think that after three years and with me being absolutely unable to recall everything I've done, that this is enough experience to not have these doubts.
I think maybe it's human nature. I have been exposed to some professionals who are at the top of their game. They earn a lot of money and are good at what they do, but with their persona comes a touch of arrogance and not a hint of humility. Their feet are no longer touching the ground any more. I'm sure this is not a quality most people value, but it sure provides a little variation in this world.
This is more than I intended to write on a sunny February morning while on the train. I suppose I have to be productive in these hours!
I took a photo of the skies.. They look so dramatic this morning.
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