Thursday, 21 February 2013

On 'playing the waiting game'

Currently I am re-discovering some good Travis albums. ('Sing' is now 12 years old!?? 12 years old and still a beauty of a track.) I'm contemplating, living, and distracting myself from life playing the 'waiting game' - although admittedly I have to say, nothing about this feels like a 'game'. However, there seems to be nothing 'gamely' about the Hunger Games either but that doesn't stop us referring to such a thing as a game. I am not playing and this is not a game, but I am living it nevertheless.

It is what it is, but there is an awful lot of 'waiting' in combination with a huge sense of urgency this week. Those two words don't seem to join together in harmony; waiting and urgency. I seem to be waiting for participant responses so I can proceed with interviewing dissertation participants. I am waiting for references to be sent back to me for my Masters applications, waiting for potential maybe interviews or rejections, and waiting for replies from emails about potential volunteering or jobs. Waiting for life to move when it is in fact, moving far too rapidly. There is a huge irony in that sentence. There are so many emails in my sent box and not as many as I'd hoped for in my inbox.

My impatience will not get the better of me and worrying about that which I cannot control will not interfere with my focus on doing all I can do for now. However, I think there's an inherent aspect of human nature that gives me a little permission to feel eager yet anxious and want for more of this to feel in control. So, is this merely a game by which I must adhere to the rules of playing, or can I continue living while the moves of the game are simultaneously performed? Time (which is rapidly running out) shall tell...

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