Friday, 28 June 2013

Living room blogging

Mission fitness is now underway. I have signed up to a gym membership probably due to a number of reasons. Me being the over-thinking and over-analyzer that I am, I have successfully pinpointed a few of those reasons. Firstly it is more economic to pay for full membership rather than a few classes per week. And secondly, I have realized more so now than ever, that 'time off' just isn't something I can enjoy. I need to keep going, even just for the timebeing in this odd in-between stage where I am just finding my feet in the next part of my adventure. These reasons are for the most part, productive and healthy reasons - It's all smaller but by no means insignificant components of the bigger picture. I can do 'health' in the sense of healthy eating but fitness is a fundamental aspect of a healthy mind and body for me. In order to feel good, to be a brighter person, to give out a positive kind of energy, I have to work from the inside out. So providing I don't excessively relish in my relatively new found activities, I am confident it will only bring about positive change. I mention excessive activity only now because I see that's the reason for my hideously swollen ankle and my inability to walk up or down stairs without limping!

In other news, I have now successfully bagged myself a second and slightly more career focused job as a disability support worker at University which will begin in September. Thank goodness for a little more financial security in my life! I currently sit in my Mum's living room as I have arrived back in Harrogate after a casting (which I really hope I get) to spend some time with my Mother and perhaps my sister if she shows up. I'm not usually so hopeful about castings - most modelling jobs I book are direct bookings rather than bookings from castings - I'm still yet to analyse that one! Not to selfishly detract from any goodness out there for all the other human beings in this world and not to assume that I am especially deserving of anything extraordinarily wonderful; I know more than anyone that I am not. But despite my being no more or less deserving of individual and special treatment, and despite the unlikely odds, knowing fully and categorically that all I am is me myself and I, I still really, really hope that the universe is on my side today. Maybe for today, me myself and I is enough. 

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