Three days ago my Mother gently (or not so gently) reminded me that I was being too negative. She speculated that this was due to my impatience and my inability to form a positive relationship with the concept of 'time off' - a particularly pronounced observation in a job in which your work schedule is managed by your agent and not yourself. Therefore, there is only a certain amount of control I have over when I do/don't work, and it is all too easy to self-criticize when working in an industry where the amount of jobs booked is based wholly upon the desirability and appeal of your appearance. For instance, I look good therefore I work more; Not a great or healthy cycle of thought to get stuck in as I'm sure most would agree.
So, three days ago my mother rightly pointed out my negativity. And this evening I recognized it again. So I stopped myself mid-sentence and stated that I shouldn't be giving out such negative energy - negativity breeds negativity and such. This is not a message I wanted to put out there. To which my friend laughed and called me Gandhi... And I laughed. My friend and I laughed at both the absurdity and the truth of my comments. We were right to laugh. It is true because what good comes from hostility and bitterness? We can only create positive change if we embody a positive mindset. However, we are not supernatural beings. We are mere human beings, so is it not a little absurd and unattainable to expect such wondrous thoughts all the time? Is it not human nature to experience both the good and bad? Light and dark. The hopeless and the hopeful.