Realisation of today

I am not my own worst critic, my mother is.

It is a common phrase, 'I am my own worst critic' - so widely stated that it is now more of a passing comment rather than one which actually has emotional meaning. Even I am guilty of using this fly away phrase. And yes, I have no doubt in my mind that it is very truthful for some people. But not all. It is a true reflection perhaps only at one point in our lives, but not always.

I am self critical at times, yes. And I often doubt my abilities when I am feeling a little insecure. But no one has such a powerful voice as my mother does. Her voice determines my mood. Perhaps is is just my very own screwed interpretation of words, but from such a critical analysis, it feels as though I will never quite measure up. I have my own goals, my own ambitions, and my own ideals.. But she has her own thoughts on the here-and-now. I am happy working towards the future that I hope for, but when I realise I don't quite measure up right now? Not to the person who 'should' feel the most protective and supportive? That is something very different.