Wednesday, 20 July 2011


'Sayōnara' Japan.

That's 'goodbye Japan' to English speakers.
As mentioned earlier, I decided to make my stay here one month rather than two months for various reasons. I do have a pretty good sense of when to trust my instincts on these decisions but I have had a surprisingly emotional week.
I don't usually use this space to write about personal feelings/emotions in too much depth. Purely because I believe that certain aspects of our heart and mind should be kept to a personable level only. Not to be publically displayed on the internet for one and all to read at their leisure. I am also a rather private person so I don't particularly thrive from the attention one receives after stating their emotional traumas and dilemmas.
However, all being said, I do feel like posting a little honesty tonight.

'Mixed' is the most fitting word that springs to mind when I attempt to describe my present feelings. My emotions are in pieces and I cannot place them from one second to the next. Perhaps I am over-tired. I have not been sleeping well at all and the past three days have been some very long and exhausting days shooting. Early starts and late night finishes with a hell of a lot of work being done in between. Adjusting to new girls arriving and other girls leaving, the apartment becoming overcrowded, the clients at jobs being over-demanding. Missing home terribly but adoring aspects of life here too. Je ne sais pas. Like I also seem to remember mentioning, I will most definitely post a real reflection of my time here. Possibly at the weekend when time permits me to do so.

I don't really have a direction for writing this post, so it feels like a wise idea to wrap up my words now, rather than prolong what is a rather wasted post!

I have pretty much finished packing my belongings back into my suitcase, hoping that it doesn't exceed the weight of the luggage allowance. It would help if I actually knew what that was! I have a car arriving at the apartment at 7am tomorrow morning, taking me to the bus station where I will take the bus to the airport and fly back to Manchester, via Helsinki. Not bad. After a month of living here, I can finally say that I have successfully mastered the transport system and feel confident in travelling to the airport. The flight leaves at 10am Japanese time and arrives in England at 5pm English time. Taking into account the eight hour time difference, it's a bloody long journey with some not so appetizing in-flight meals. I think for this journey, I may bother to actually request the vegetarian option for my meals. Just so at least if I do want to eat, I will have the option available to me rather than a nasty looking chicken/pork curry type of meal. I am feeling empty and lacking nutrition. I think these are the consequences of a travelling lifestyle, a busy schedule, and weight loss demands. I have eaten the same food almost every single day for the past month. No joke. I hadn't even realized I had become so routined. But now I think about returning back to the UK and the things that I miss, the food is pretty high up there.

11.30pm now. Considering the severe lack of sleep I've been putting my body through, I think I shall close my laptop, pack it away in my suitcase, and get cosy in bed with a book and hopefully drift off to sleep soon. I wish the air con wasn't so damn noisy! Oh, I really need to learn how to live and not complain!


  1. Your 'complaints' are all valid things. You have achieved so much in this trip and should be very very proud of yourself. Well done for everything you have done, babe!
    And have a nice, safe journey!

  2. I figured this was "best thing" decision.
    You don't need to be deteriorating and I am proud of you for choosing the recovery route.
    Love you xxxx