'It is the most wonderful feeling, to trust yourself.
I want to be happy. But that's not like a wish you make when you blow out the candles of a birthday cake or when you see a shooting star because you've already accepted that in reality, that wish can never really come true. I am not wishing for the seemingly impossible. I am just using this feeling to trust myself, trust my instincts, and understand myself. To understand my heart and my mind and my body. To accept all I have, be aware of what I would like, but to allow myself openness to all that comes my way.
Time. Time. Time. Ever present, ever an illusion. Always moving us forward, never standing still.
Damn, days off and cups of tea combined with this wonderfully relaxed and mellow music with the warm air outside really do make my mind produce these philosophical thoughts. I wonder if I will ever make anything of them.'
Just a snippet of my writings/journal today.
I feel like that short snapshot of my mind provides a pretty good summery of my feelings to date.
This weekend marks my last weekend here in Japan. I decided I would make my stay here one month rather than two. For various reasons. I have had the experience and the work and I feel as though this is the right time to be returning back to England. I will write a real reflection of my time here when I do return back home. But for now I shall safely say that I have had a rather relaxed last weekend and am about to begin three days worth of work before my flight back. Tomorrow is hardly classed as 'work' - as the call time for the shoot is 5pm. It's a Japanese bank holiday tomorrow so I imagine the shoot will only be a few hours maximum and I can spend the day time casually allowing time to pass me by.