Sunday, 16 January 2011

Half way through January already?

I had to double check the date - 16th January 2011. I honestly feel like my mind is baffled with where the days disappear to lately. I have had a lovely day off today, sleeping in late and then seeing Zana this afternoon for a relaxing soy latte and catch up. I was beginning to forget what a day off felt like.

An update is totally overdue so I shall try my best to update on how this past week has been. Before I begin though, I have to quickly mention that I have been moved from New Faces onto the main board at Boss. Super happy about that.. Shows I must be doing something right. I have been away with Next this week. We did a fashion event at the head offices in Leicester which was actually rather nice. It was easy work and nice to catch up and get away from home for a while. The new s/s collection is very 'me' I'd say. I could have happily gone shopping in the mock store. We modelled some winning outfits and then headed up to Birmingham for the show and rehearsals. 

The others joined us in Birmingham and of course it was all crazy. Jacuzzi, drinks, photo shoots, catwalks, interviews, cameras etc etc. Just your standard week with the Next people. I say the 'Next people' but I do sometimes forget that there are some bloody lovely people I'm privileged to work with. Admittedly, I do find travelling and being away from the comfortable surroundings of my own home quite difficult at times. It's the added pressure and the lack of knowledge of the new situation, and the spontaneity that tends to freak me out a littleBut once I kick my own arse into gear and get my head in the right place, I have these moments of total and complete contentment. 

In fact, I don't think contentment is the best word. It's difficult to explain. It's humbling, and fills me with gratitude. I look around myself.. At the people, the places, the experiences and surroundings.. And I need a few moments to embrace it all as a whole and realise that yes, this is me. This is who I am and I have every right to be standing here, feeling this happiness. I would love to feel more moments like this one. Perhaps this is what truly living life means - to feel those moments and not be held captive by your destructive mind. To not be afraid of that destructive mind, because that fear is what fuels it's life. Killing the fear will leave only goodness and a love for life that I will want to never lose sight of.

My life is changing. It already began to change a while ago, but I can notice it now. I'm quietly growing and I'm not so deadly afraid of who I might become. Why be terrified of something that is potentially ever so beautiful? I don't want to hide away. I know this post seems rather strange but it's making a lot more sense in my mind. I think that this past week has given me a taste of what life can be like if I allow myself to live a little. 

A smile is contageous..
I would like to smile more :)

1 comment:

  1. I love this post so much. You should be insanely proud of yourself :) I love you