I do hope that each and every one of my loved ones has had a fabulous Christmas just like they deserve.
My Christmas has been just okay I suppose. Family time, gifts, festive food, films, and cosy jumpers by the fire, Christmas dinner, cracking silly jokes, family games and enough food to feed the five thousand. My heart just felt a little empty and emotionless though. It seems quite silly and selfish because I really can't pinpoint any specific reason as to why, but that's just the way it goes. Things ran rather smoothly. I did what was expected of me - joined in with family fun and ate what my mother wanted me to eat. I was 'normal'
I actually have nothing to complain about. Why am I so talented in always somehow finding something to moan about. Why can't I just be satisfied for once in my life? I really must figure out some new years resolutions that would allow me to enjoy life a little more and quit all this ridiculous carry-on that I seem to waste half my life on. I am twenty one years old. That is still young. When will I wake up and realise that life is too precious to waste away?
I would really like to have this new year bring a more social side of me out. I know that I enjoy seeing my friends and I know that I absolutely value and adore each and every one of my close friends. They each play a small part of making me who I am (or who I was?) So why am I so strangely set in my mind to try to avoid letting them see me? It seems very odd and very much like I am a person who is still stuck in a self destructive mode.
However, Christmas evening was rather lovely. As I mentioned in the last entry, it was enjoyable and although the huge crowds of people in town were difficult to deal with, the friends that I was with were much more important.
Also, I have been working working working all through Christmas, whether it's been uni work or actual work, or promotional work, I have been incredibly busy. I am taking a day off tomorrow.. This makes me a happy lady.
I shall sleep and wake to my body clock. I shall eat breakfast for once this holiday and I shall do a little uni work (I've totally finished the skills assignment. I will print it out after the mother has proof read it tomorrow and then it'll be all ready to hand in next time I'm in York.) Then I plan to continue the day with beginning my next essay and taking a trip into town to do some leisurely shopping. That will be perfect.
Gosh. That is just what I need
Good night x