Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Quand ce train arrivera à…?

A large proportion of today has been spent on the train. So I felt it appropriate to allow you to have a glance at the sights I saw:

It should be noted the insanely busy Leeds - Harrogate train above and also my lovely stylish trekking boots. I feel I pull that look off quite well :) They're very comfortable, if nothing else.
Today was so nice. Shooting on Manchester's ice rink with one of the other lovely models, Isabel, and a great photographer. Followed by a heart warming glass of mulled wine to bring the feeling back into our frozen hands! Such a festive shoot.

Travelling by train may be an annoyance and rather chilly at times (and you may be left without a seat). However, it's a perfect opportunity to read, or listen to music.. and just be. Just get lost in your thoughts.. Very relaxing.
I was reading a David Mearns and Brian Thorne book about person centred counselling and came across this:

' The world is full of helpers whose activity is a desperate strategy to avoid confronting themselves.'

I re-read the paragraph. And read it again a third time. And actually - How bloomin' true is that? That old saying, we are brilliant at giving advice to those we care for, but when it comes to ourselves - we are our own worst enemy. Do we really think THAT little of ourselves? Are we really that worthless and undeserving of love and care, that we can't even take care of ourselves. After all, if we can't love ourselves, who CAN we love??
Those who are most in need of help themselves, tend to devote their life to helping others. Distraction technique? Or denial? Or just plain avoidance? Perhaps it's the thought: 'If no one can fix me, then I might as well fix others..'

I don't know. It kind of hits a nerve, that confronting word. Confrontations are not a pleasant thing at all. Family confrontations are awkward and upsetting. Confrontations between friends can mean guilt and hurt. But a confrontation within your own mind?
THAT is another thing all together.
A very personal and internal battle. It's so prominent and becomes so 'normal' that it's easier to give in to the destructive side. Because what else do you deserve? It's much easier to suffer a controlled pain rather than an overwhelming pain that you spend all these years trying to cover up. When you're fighting a loosing battle, the never-ending downwards spiral is too exhausting.

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